“It’s common for children to experience distress and worry related to their allergies, especially as they get older — and especially children managing multiple and severe allergies,” says Despina Petsagourakis, PhD, a licensed psychologist with the pediatric allergy program at Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital at NYU Langone in New York City. While a bit of anxiety can be good, because it helps you and your child adhere to allergy-safe practices, too much can lead to dysfunctional behaviors, she notes. “These can include extreme isolation and disordered eating.”
Here are seven strategies to help your child — and yourself — cope with the stress of food allergies.
1. Teach Your Child About Their Food Allergies
Knowledge is power when it comes to managing food allergy–related anxiety. “Educating a child on their food allergies can increase confidence in their efforts to manage [them],” says Amy Hahn, PhD, a pediatric psychologist with the allergy clinic at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. “Providing accurate education can also dispel any myths or worries they may have, particularly if the child has access to information in the media that may be sensationalized.”
2. Have a Plan of Action
Dr. Petsagourakis advises consulting with your child’s medical team about what to include in the action plan. “Your plan could include both daily steps and responsibilities, such as checking food labels, asking an adult before eating a new food, and packing epinephrine,” she says. “[It should also include] signs and symptoms that an emergency plan should be activated, emergency phone numbers, and when to administer epinephrine.”
She advises keeping your action plan up to date and increasing responsibilities for your child as they get older to help prepare them to manage their allergies independently in the future.
3. Be a Calm and Confident Role Model
Children look to their parents to determine whether a situation is safe or not, so your actions can increase or quell anxiety in your kids. “If a parent is demonstrating anxious and overly vigilant behaviors related to food allergies, the child will often adopt similar behaviors and mindset,” Dr. Hahn says. “For this reason, it’s important for parents to model behaviors around food and food allergies.”
Feeling anxious as a caregiver is normal at times, but it’s important to use appropriate coping skills in these moments. “For example, when dining out, a parent can confidently state the child’s allergies to servers and chefs, model safe selection of restaurants and menu options, and regularly bring medication and epinephrine auto-injectors to demonstrate to the child safe ways to eat when away from home,” Hahn says.
4. Validate Your Child’s Feelings
Acknowledging what your child is going through can help them feel understood, and it also lays the foundation for continued emotional openness and sharing, Petsagourakis says. “By saying, ‘I totally understand why you feel scared when we eat at a new restaurant,’ you not only help reduce the stigma of your child’s fear, but you also increase the likelihood that they will be willing to move forward with a strategy to help manage their anxiety,” she explains.
Petsagourakis suggests following up your acknowledgment with an actionable next step you and your child can take together, such as practicing allergy safety questions when you get to the restaurant or even writing them down beforehand.
5. Empower Your Child to Safely Participate in Normal Activities
To help your child manage anxiety around their allergies, it’s important to encourage them to continue to do the things they love. But at the same time, make sure they have a plan to safely manage food allergies in these situations.
“Parents should consider the child’s age, developmental level, social skills, and other factors unique to their child when developing a plan for activities.” Hahn says. “For example, a young child with food allergies can safely participate in sports, but their family should discuss a plan for handling snacks, informing the coach and other parents of the child’s food allergy, and ensuring access to their epinephrine auto-injector.”
6. Consider Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
“CBT is a well-established, evidence-based treatment that incorporates cognitive and behavioral strategies for managing distress and is commonly used in food allergy treatment,” Hahn says. “CBT helps a child recognize the link between their thoughts, feelings, and actions and learn ways to have more helpful thoughts,” Hahn says. For example, CBT may be able to help if your child is struggling with extreme avoidance of social situations because they’re worried about allergen exposure.
CBT can also include relaxation training to manage anxiety symptoms and distress. “Your child may learn skills, such as diaphragmatic breathing, visual imagery, mindfulness, and progressive muscle relaxation, to decrease the body’s stress response when anxious,” Hahn explains.
7. Don’t Forget to Take Care of Your Own Health
Parenting a child with serious food allergies comes with unique, stress-inducing challenges. “This may lead you to overfocus on your child’s physical and mental health, to the detriment of your own,” Petsagourakis says. “But remember that children look to their parents to know they are okay, so taking care of your own mental health is taking care of your child’s.”
If you’re feeling a great deal of stress related to managing your child’s food allergies, know that you’re not alone. Ask your child’s pediatrician or allergist about available support systems and resources for you, such as local or national organizations for parents of children with food allergies. You can also search for groups in your area through organizations such as Food Allergy Research & Education and the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology. “This can decrease a sense of isolation and burden, as well as provide some helpful tips from others in the food allergy community,” Petsagourakis says.
The Takeaway
- Living with food allergies can lead to anxiety and distress in both children and their parents, but coping strategies can help mitigate these mental and emotional struggles.
- Teaching your child about their food allergies, having a plan of action, validating their feelings, and modeling calm, confident behavior are all effective ways to help manage food allergy–related anxiety.
- Children look to their parents for safety and comfort, so taking care of your own mental health is crucial for helping your child cope with their allergies.
