5 Scenarios When Journaling Can Help
Whether you’ve never journaled before or you’re a lifelong reflective writer, putting your thoughts on paper in strategic ways may help you cope with some of life’s challenging changes and milestones.
Here, experts have outlined five common life changes when journaling is particularly beneficial and offer exercises on how to get started.
1. It Can Help Strengthen Marriage Ties, Whether You’re Struggling or Not
Journaling can help new couples navigate building a partnership or longtime couples resolve conflict.
You may choose to keep a solo marriage journal. Like other types of journals, a solo marriage journal is a private space for your eyes only but it can offer a big-picture view of your marriage.
“Often, we tend to overlook the highs and lows of our interactions with our spouse in favor of how we are currently feeling, but this can make it hard to see the overall state of our marriage and feelings on it,” says Sarah Buckhead, LCSW, a therapist with the virtual health platform PlushCare based in Riverside, California. “Having a solo journal helps serve as a record of sorts that we can refer back to, and the information in those journals can help identify any repeating patterns in the relationship and communication styles that could use improvement.”
The other option is a couple’s marriage journal, where you and your spouse share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with one another. This type of journal can be a helpful, positive tool for couples who need a push to show appreciation toward one another, Buckhead says.
She recommends writing in a shared journal at least once a week, and you can use it to voice the small things your partner has done that meant a lot to you but possibly went unvoiced, and then give them a chance to read it. “Often, we think our spouse knows we are grateful or happy with them, but when it is not outright voiced, it can be easy for your spouse to not realize you feel that way, especially when it is easy for people to get stuck in their own heads,” she says. “This is your chance to make your appreciation known.”
Marriage Journal Prompt to Get You Started For a solo marriage journal, Buckhead recommends asking yourself: What aspects of the relationship match your ideal vision of what a relationship should be? Have you communicated your needs for the parts that don’t?
And for a shared journal, consider: What is something your partner did this week that made you smile? “Imagine how positive you would feel reading your partner’s writings about how the new nickname you gave them had them smiling the entire day or how picking up their favorite food when they told you they had a hard day made them feel cared for,” Buckhead says.
2. It Can Help You Process Grief From the Loss of a Loved One
Regardless of how grief shows up for you, journaling is a helpful way to release the emotions so you can begin processing them. “Journaling or letter writing can be cathartic, especially during moments when you feel overcome with emotion,” Buckhead says.
Instead of trying to journal on a regular schedule, Buckhead recommends striking while the iron is hot. “Grief often hits hard and suddenly, like a wave,” Buckhead says.
Use a notepad app on your smartphone or a small notebook to jot down how you’re feeling when an emotion becomes overwhelming or you want to share something with the person you lost. “Let the words wash over you and bring you comfort,” Buckhead says. “Whether you had months, years, or decades to get to know your loved one, you know what they would tell you or what they would think. That is a powerful presence in your life.”
Grief Journal Prompt to Get You Started If you need help getting started with grief journaling, try writing directly to your loved one as if they are right by your side, Buckhead suggests.
What do you wish you could tell them right now? What positive memories have you been thinking about lately? What random things have happened lately that made you think of them? Or tell them why you’re angry they left you, or why you know you’ll be OK, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
3. It Can Help You Through the Pain of a Divorce or Breakup
“Journaling is a healthy way to untangle these feelings and figure out where they’re coming from,” says Kara Nassour, a licensed professional counselor practicing at Shaded Bough Counseling in Austin, Texas. This way, you don’t act impulsively or say something you later regret.
The most important thing is to be honest when you’re journaling. Acknowledge even the ugly feelings you’d never tell anyone else, Nassour says. Your journal is a private space where you can be angry, selfish, scared, pitiful, or even happy or vindictive.
“Remember that just writing the words down won’t hurt anyone,” Nassour says.
It may also help to read what you write once you’re in a calm state of mind. “It can give you a more objective perspective and ideas for how to act on these feelings constructively,” Nassour says. Here are two of her favorite prompts to support your healing process.
Divorce or Breakup Prompt to Get You Started If you wanted the breakup, what are the reasons you stayed in the relationship as long as you did? What are the reasons you wanted to leave? If you were to begin another relationship, how would you want it to be different?
If you didn’t want the breakup, have you ever experienced a loss like this before? Who and what helped you get through it? What did you do to cope? Can any of the people, resources, or strategies from that time help you now?
4. It Can Prepare You for Having a Baby
Becoming a parent is a time filled with so many new experiences and worries that some can forget to slow down and reflect on their own feelings and needs.
“Many parents I know want to be able to be present with their kids, and that’s really hard to achieve if we struggle with being present with our own emotions,” says Jordan Olsen, LCSW, a perinatal mental health therapist with Ad Astra Therapy in Milwaukee.
Journaling gives new and expecting parents an outlet to express the many emotions they’re feeling. Simply setting aside 10 minutes per day — or even a few days a week, if you can’t manage a daily practice — to focus on your thoughts and articulate them on paper may help.
“I often give my clients prompts for a self check-in that promote reflection on their emotional state and where those emotions are showing up in the body,” Olsen says. She recommends setting a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and responding to these prompts below.
Pregnancy Journal Prompt to Get You Started What lessons did you learn about what it means to be a “good parent” from watching your parents? Are there any lessons you want to keep for your parenting journey? Are there any lessons you want to let go of?
Here’s another prompt: Pick a time when you felt scared, worried, overwhelmed, angry, or sad in the past week. Think about that moment and reflect on the question: “Does this point to an unmet need of mine?”
5. It Can Help You Work Through a Health Crisis or Diagnosis
Journaling allows structured time and an opportunity to process these feelings, says Julia Kogan, PsyD, a health psychologist and stress expert in Chicago.
Some people may not have friends or family who can help them make sense of their feelings. Or they may not feel comfortable sharing what’s going on with their health. “Journaling allows for a neutral way to express yourself any time you’d like,” Dr. Kogan says.
“Therefore, journaling can be a helpful strategy to manage overall health and chronic health conditions,” Kogan says. Use her exercise below to get started.
Health Crisis or Diagnosis Prompt to Get You Started Find a quiet and calm environment. Set a timer for 15 to 30 minutes and write about what’s upsetting you. This may include your current health status, any information you received from your doctor, how you’re feeling about the information, and any worries or fears. If you need a mood boost, use your journaling time to identify 5 to 10 things you’re grateful for, describe a goal for managing your health, or write a list of your coping mechanisms and tools, as well as the people in your life who can support you.
The Takeaway
- When you’re feeling stressed or navigating difficult life changes, journaling can help you work through your emotions and determine a path forward.
- Journaling has been shown to help you process emotions that come with significant life changes and may offer physical health benefits as well.
- Experts say that journaling can help strengthen marriage ties, process the loss of a loved one, work through a breakup, prepare for a baby, and deal with a health crisis.
With additional reporting by Moira Lawler.
