If You Control Your Family After You’re Gone, You’ll Miss New Opportunities – Orange County Register

Once upon a time there were three sisters. Their growing up years were full of good memories, but they weren’t all that great (whose house is perfect?!).

I remember braiding wreaths in my hair and riding my bike to the local store to buy a 5-cent candy necklace. The world was simple and fun, with neighbors watching.

As adults, they remembered and appreciated the time they spent together. They stayed close to their parents, and in their mother and father’s later years, their daughters helped take care of them, trying to ensure that the tricks of old age were tempered with love and support.

Parents also cherished family memories and were concerned that the trust naming their daughters as beneficiaries was “fair and equal.” As part of that, the two had her beautiful second home in an idyllic setting.

The parents called this place the family lodge and left the land to their three daughters. The father imagined the girls coming with their families and enjoying the same sweet moments together.

When the day came when her parents died, her eldest daughter assumed the role of inheriting her parents’ wishes as a trustee. As for the property, the sisters decided to set up an LLC to protect them and the property in various ways.

Part of their agreement was that if any of the sisters wanted to sell, the other sister would have the power of first veto.After all, why would they want to part with such a beautiful property? Is it? It’s in the woods by the river, and it was an idyllic setting for my grandchildren’s arrival. The old tractor was still working and a red wagon was hitched to this to take the little ones on nice rides.

However, such an expected mutter turned into a soft mutter.

“There are only two bedrooms and one bathroom, so there is not enough space for the family to move up together.”

“The carpet and walls are moldy and the door needs to be replaced ($15,000). What else needs fixing? is not.”

“What do you want to draw here? I like the grain!”

Conversations about their growing family and celebrations were replaced by conversations about money, repairs, various desires, and tensions.

And someone dared to say, “I wish I didn’t own a piece of this.”

There was an eerie silence. It was almost blasphemy to talk about gifts from my parents like that. My father’s wish was that this place would be passed down from generation to generation and become a family home. He even asked them to preserve it this way. His hope was that his family would always enjoy it and have the same sweet memories he had.

However, the reality was different. One sister wanted to dispose of her property. “I could do a lot for my family with that money,” she said. “And I would never cross the US to stay there.”

“Well, I don’t have the money to bribe you,” said the second man. “I need to save up for my old age! Anyway, I can’t really use it with my family because there aren’t enough bedrooms and accommodations. I want to change.

The third sister was in tears. “We made a promise to Dad – and I have such wonderful memories. My family wants to keep it.”

And the sisters were stranded. Each had different needs, desires, financial and family circumstances. And the dream that my father turned into a burden.

“If we had these struggles about this and it was passed on to our 13 children, do you know what this would be like for them as co-owners? This is a nightmare!”

Perhaps the worst thing about this situation was that our relationship began to fall apart due to our different opinions and needs. Is there anyone other than family members who would like to join the family partnership to own ownership of this home?

Parents wanted to further their dream, so they built it into how they would leave their wealth to the next generation, without thinking that they might have other needs or priorities. If You Control Your Family After You’re Gone, You’ll Miss New Opportunities – Orange County Register

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