Surprise! How men react when becoming a dad isn’t part of the plan

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For many parents, having a baby is unplanned. What happens next may be different. Someone said:

“We split up, and she soon called me and told me she was pregnant […] she just asked me if I wanted to be in our baby’s life and I agreed without thinking twice. “

Another said:

“I wanted an abortion, since we were not prepared, but it was not my choice, it was hers. […] but the grief is long. “

These two commentary comes from thousands of messages on the Reddit social network that we reviewed as part of our research in the content of men unprepared stomach.

Unexplained pain is common

Having an unplanned child is more important than anyone else. In Australia 40% of pregnant women wrong, suddenly or unintentionally. This is an estimate of relative value world.

Much of the research on the effects of unplanned pregnancy has focused on mothers. We wanted to know about the events of dads. So we turned to two forums specifically for new same to you sick dads on Reddit.

We “poured” thousands of posts, over a year, and then applied something new machine learning technique for gathering information into meaningful topics. This allows us to identify themes in men’s online conversations.

Here is what we found

Our research shows men who become their fathers unwillingly or unknowingly face complex emotional and behavioral patterns. Many people need support.

The parents in our study published on Reddit using names. So they are free to be honest and tasteful while sharing their opinions on a subject that many consider haraam.

Some were “filled with regret,” “sad,” “guilty” and hopeless of “a deceitful little mill.” Some have nothing to do with their babies, someone feels “like a heartless bowl.”

Someone said:

“I continued to have severe anxiety. There were days when I sat crying and thinking about the miserable condition of my life.”

Unprepared mother and postpartum grief

Previous research has shown that it is common for dads short periods of negative thoughts after their baby is born. Feeling we have ‘Run out of gas’ emotionally.

However, our positive and negative emotions can indicate anxiety and depression at this time.

In fact, the unintended father is related to someone else increased less than of man has sadness after birth.

Father’s grief, in turn, is linked to a higher risk of depression in their partners and additional behavioral problems in their offspring.

Let’s break some tales

Like previous research, ours has denied the allegation men do not seek help when needed. Men seek advice and support from other fathers on everything from night feeding and nafila to making sure that what they are feeling is normal.

Studies show generation support, often online, can be a foot in the door for men who feel uncomfortable expressing illness. This is especially important for what is forbidden as unwanted parents.

In our study, not all men are at risk. Some report feeling happy “but terrified” and at the same time “terrified, hopeful, happy, terrified.”

Sharing experiences allows these fathers to improve and adjust their emotional state completely and sometimes reshape hopelessness.

Men say to each other “you are not alone,” “I feel that way,” “it gets easier” and “it is not as good as people say.”

How to reduce stigma

In this study as well our previous research men said they were worried that the lack of interest in children would be seen as unfair.

We hope our work educates people that children’s interests are not worldly. We can do more to balance and nurture diverse stories that represent how people feel about parenting.

When it comes family structurethe first step is to involve men in the discussion about reproductive health before they became fathers and were born.

Immunization programs with health experts includes being physically and mentally prepared for parents and important for mothers, fathers and, ultimately, their offspring.

Once a baby is born, it is important dad be able to get support. Family planning and health care are more focused on mothers and babies, and it may be better tools, equipment and training you identifying fathers at risk for mental health problems. Activities involving the Father it is useful for mothers and children.

When things went right

When fathers are able to receive the help they need at the right time, it can make a difference. Someone said:

“I ended up going to the psychiatrist after the suicide attempt. He did something nice, he faced my immaturity. Can I recommend trying it? Everyone is different, but he really helped in my case.”

Being a new parent is challenging, and fathers need support too


This article was republished from Conversations under a Creative Commons license. Read original story.Conversations

hint: Mamaki! How Men Respond to Being a Father Back in the Program (2022, May 25) Retrieved 25 May 2022 from

This document is copyrighted. Apart from any genuine transaction for the purpose of personal analysis or investigation, no part may be reproduced without our written permission. Content is provided for informational purposes only.

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