JOE MATHEWS: California, let’s give thanks to America | Opinion

Thank you for always thinking about California, USA.

Now it’s the time of the year that we still have to thank California’s only real estate for cheap — all the space we occupy is in the minds of our fellow Americans. You can borrow it for free.

It’s amazing how California comes to mind across these United States. I recently visited the illustrious birthplace of American ideas, a great state known as Virginia.

Now it’s known as California East.

That’s what Virginia’s newly elected governor, Glenn Youngkin, and his supporters call it, at least. “In a few years, Virginia became California East. Mr Yongkin warned in an election speech, which may seem to be a criticism of the Republican Party’s condemnation of the” progressive agenda. ” But when his allies listed a policy to turn the Old Minion into California East, it was read like a Golden State ad: stronger clean air law, legal marijuana, and a voter by mail to all voters. To send.

“California East” is not a Virginia work. Nevada and Arizona political leaders use this phrase to warn of the dangers of California citizens entering the country. But can you blame them? We Californians are so cool that you don’t want to see us in person. Don’t be blind to you.

However, your obsession with California can be a little scary. Texas is constantly talking about us, so without the physical separation provided by Arizona and New Mexico, California may have to obtain a restraint order.

Texas people like to pretend they don’t want to be influenced by California. I asked them to make a wonderful T-shirt that says “California is not my Texas”. But in reality, every time Californians move themselves and California’s values ​​to Lone Star, they brag. Texas now has 40 different In-N-Out Burger locations, Elon Musk, and the grid is even older than we are.

Recently, I’ve noticed that Iowa and other pork-producing countries are comparable to Texas in their insistence on California. Iowa Senator Joni Ernst can’t stop talking about the bacon ban in California. “We thought we all saw it from the radical left … but this brings it to a whole new level: ban bacon? No way, everyone,” Ernst said.

I love bacon, so I was worried at first. So, to investigate the availability and legal status of salted delicacies, I ignored my wife’s dietary advice only once and bought a bacon-wrapped hot dog from a LA food vendor.

The bacon was real. California does not ban anything. Iowans is obsessed with not letting pork products sold here until we begin to comply with our more animal-friendly laws regarding pig confinement. So while 3.2 million human Iowans may whine a little, Iowa’s 23.8 million pigs and pigs should love us!

The truth about what’s in the hearts of Iowans, Texans, Virginians, and others who can’t get their heads out of California is: Most of their criticisms of us are really compliments. An American who fears God.

So Californians don’t lose your composure when relatives try to feed you for a holiday supper. Instead, use my handy California hatred / love translator to understand what your family is really trying to say.

• “You let everyone vote, you are a scammer” means “I am in awe of your state’s commitment to democracy.”

• “You love illegal activities and open borders” means “praise your desire to keep an immigrant family together”.

• “You are the Queen of Welfare” means “I love how California led the expansion of Medicaid.”

• “Your environmental regulations are out of control” means “Thank you for saving the planet, you don’t have to.”

But don’t let all this praise come to mind. We Californians need to admit that we are not the unstoppable progressive colossal statues that other Americans imagine us. Our homeless are even worse than they look. PG & E is an unrepentant murderer. Our living expenses are overwhelming. So is business regulation. And our school, which suffers from a pandemic closure, should really teach critical race theory — at least they can say that they teach anything.

So my fellow Californians stay humble like the pies you’re eating when traveling the country this holiday season. Don’t brag about world-leading economic growth or a sharp drop in poverty. Resist the temptation to mention the long history of becoming an American leader in attacking California, even when they are buying a home here — I see you Mitt Romney —.

Instead, enjoy all the California love you receive, whatever the form you receive it. And thank all the Americans who never stop talking about our state. California couldn’t afford all this promotion itself, even with a $ 31 billion budget surplus.

Happy Thanksgiving, California East … Oops, that is, America!

Joe Mathews is the author of the Connecting California column for Zócalo Public Square.

JOE MATHEWS: California, let’s give thanks to America | Opinion Source link JOE MATHEWS: California, let’s give thanks to America | Opinion

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